A Blog Not About Buttons

This is your captain speaking...

Ok, so if you are relatively new here please understand that a large majority of my emails have nothing to do with buttons, but more of a collection of random stories in my life.  Like the guy who mailed live chickens at the post office, or the inmate who sent me a detailed love letter to my job.  Click HERE to read those stories... but anyway
So last Sunday my husband and I were on a 5am flight from Vegas to Houston.  He sat by the window and I was in the middle seat.
On the row in front of us there was a man also sitting in the window seat who had boarded prior to us.  
A lady with long braids in a bun comes down the aisle and asks the man "Is anyone sitting here" he says "no" so she sits in the middle seat and her annoying AF homegirl sits in the aisle seat. (Story on Louie Vuitton luggage girl another day).
So the plane takes off and they are making small talk.  I get my snacks and ginger ale and then all of a sudden they are tongue kissing each other DOWN!.  I guess on the new Southwest planes they have made the gap between the seats larger so I had a full on in my face view of these two swapping spit. 
Later, the guy pulls out a blanket, snuggles up in the blanket and puts his head against the window. The lady puts her head on his shoulder to snuggle up against him, THEN proceeds to put her head in his lap under the blanket.  Just know that sis went down with her braids in a bun, but came up with them braids in her face.  
All I am thinking is.. fawk... this whole plane is about to smell like ass. 
Now this is where is gets worse.
I assumed that they knew each other, but my husband pointed out the facts that 
1. They didn't board together 
2. She asked if anyone had taken that seat. 
But then!!! The plane lands, we get off and walk towards the restroom.  The lady, her friend and the guy are all standing together.  The lady gives him a huge hug, and proceeds to introduce the guy to her friends and then says... "call me".
I wonder if ole girl gets my emails. 
Have a great Monday!
xoxo Nzingah
Read more

Mental Break

The website will be on pause starting Thursday March 11th and will reopen on March 15th. All orders are shipping on time, and all orders placed by the 11th will ship before the 15th. You can always contact me at info@inclusiveRandomness.com

ttyl- Nzingah

Read more

How to spot a real cowboy in Texas.

There was a cowboy at the post office today.  How so I know he was a real cowboy?
  • His cowboy boots were dusty
  • He used his bandana as a mask
  • He had on a real cowboy hat
  • His belt had a huge buckle that said Texas Champion


His phone ringtone was a cow. Moooooooo

True story.  🤣🤣🤣🤣

Read more

$500 dollar dates and french fries

Per Black Twitter, the average amount that a person should spend on a first date is $500.  This is stupid.

 If you are trying to impress a girl or a guy never spend $500 on a dinner date.

Instead, spend $500 on an Inclusive Randomness gift card.

Grilled chicken is temporary. Buttons last forever. 

My first date with my husband was to Whataburger. We have been married almost 15 years. 

I'm not saying that the fries won me over, but we go to Whataburger for our anniversary every year. 

ttyl- Nzingah
Read more

My Life Is A Tyler Perry Wig

Ok so here is the story. 
A few years ago I was asked to be in WIRED magazine for work. (I work at NASA). Super cool experience. Dan Winters was the photographer, he told me all about his talks with Barack, Mr Rogers, and TuPac. 

Well fast forward like almost a year later. 
My manager comes into the office with the mail and hands me an envelope. The envelope was already opened/pre screened ( government precautions) and I am like... who is sending me mail. 

The outside of the envelope is a man's name and the address is a prison facility about 3 hours from Houston.  On the back of the envelope the guy had written out the names of the Black girls who had died in the 16th street church bombing in the 60s. PAUSE

So now I am shook.  Inside was a 12 page love letter with magazine cut outs. Apparently this man could see into my soul. (His words not mine)

Now I am in my managers's office, because White men sending me letters from prison with the bold reference of racist killings is serious.  We make photo copies of the letter and take the original to the security office.

The officers locate the guys prison record. IT.WAS.LONG. Imagine sitting in this small security shack and the printer behind you is spitting out a ream long prison record. 

Then the officers asked me if I knew anyone in prison. I decided against telling them about Pookey who used to flip bricks outside the school parking lot. I think Pookey had turned his life around so it was irrelevant at the time. 

Long story not so short. The guy was contacted and told to never contact me again. Periodically I would still go down to the mail box to check.
Read more

Post Office and Bingo

Inclusive Randomness

Story time...

So I was at the postoffice today, and this older gentleman started to ask me about my packages and my business.  

I told him that I sold buttons. He said "With all those packages you should be a millionaire!" Me in my head "ok preach!"  

He then asked if I had any extra buttons, because he wanted to wear one on Friday to Bingo night. 

I gave him an Obama "If Folks Wanna Pop Off" button and baybeeeee HE. WAS. TICKLED! 

I hope the ladies at the Bingo hall think he looks fly on Friday. 

ttyl- Nzingah

Read more

My Vice President Is A Black Woman

Inclusive Randomness

I didn't respond to your email because yesterday was MAGIC.

Vice President Kamala Harris repeating the oath given by Chief Justice Sonia Sotomayor.

The poem by Amanda Gorman.

 Lady Gaga in all her Lady Gaganess.

Michelle Obama

Dr Jill Biden

Even Bernie Sanders and his mittens :-)

Currently responding to e-mails. If you sent me a DM regarding something important, please respond here.  My DMs are in shambles 🥴

ttyl- Nzingah

Read more

Chile Where Is Your Toolbox?

Inclusive Randomness

There is one important question to ask when getting into a new relationship....

"Do you own a toolbox?"

So annoying if you are dating someone and they don't own a simple hammer or drill.  Like how are you going to help me put up these curtains, put together this Ikea Hemnes dresser, hang my new artwork??

The tragedy. 

Read more

DJ Twinkie

Inclusive Randomness

When I retire from my 9-5 I am going to be a DJ. Like a club DJ. My DJ name is going to be DJ Twinkie. Long story short in high school I had a friend who used to call me twinkie because of the Zinger knock off twinkies and my name is Nzingah.  
High school boys are lame... but DJ Twinkie would be dope (if it's not taken).

ttyl - Nzingah AKA DJ Twinkie ♥️

Read more

My Version of Self Care

Inclusive Randomness

So yesterday was "Self Care Sunday" Unsure who deemed Sunday the day of self-care because I rather the day be on Wednesday because naps on hump day are epic.

Self-care to me is a clean desk.  Is anyone else like this? Bump the bubble baths because I can not focus if I can not see my desk. Major anxiety. 

Anyway, I hope that your Sunday was full of self-care and be on the lookout for my petition to move our self-care to Wednesday.

ttyl - Nzingah

Read more

Strip Clubs and Money Guns

Inclusive Randomness

So... I want a money gun. You know the kind that shoots out dollars at strip clubs. 
Now, I don't want to go to the strip club (pandemic), but I think it would be cool to load it with business cards and coupons and let loose at my local grocery store. What do y'all think? Write back and let me know.

Read more
Vision Board

Vision Board

MASH! The ultimate vision board since elementary school. This game has been predicting my future since the 90s soooo you KNOW it works! 

How to play:

1. Fill out the categories.

2. Write your magic number in the space provided.

3. Start with the M at the top, moving clockwise, count each option until you reach the magic number, cross off the option you land on. Continue around the page, skipping the marked off option until you only have 1 option left in each category.

Then BOOM!

The remaining options are your future!

Don't worry. You can thank me later.

xoxo - Nzingah 

Read more
16 results